heaven's night

one

It's currently 3:06 AM and Husband is sleeping next to me. I slept during the day today because I was so exhausted from work today, I'm still learning the ropes but I am confident I'll pick it all up quickly.

I'm so tired of constant migraines I always feel like I want to pluck my eye out like in Kill Bill.

So, yeah. Anyways, I decided to create this and clean up this blog partially because of something one of my cousins said at my wedding. She said,

"I remember you when you were younger, you liked to hide yourself in a room turn off the lights and play spooky games. You were always so brave."

Hmmmmm. Maybe that's where it started. Anyways, yes, I've decided to embrace the horror once again and return to my roots. I opened up to my grandma the other day about my dad's drinking problems and I've since then felt this weird rift within myself. I don't want to call it like a wake up call, but it kinda feels that way. I'm starting to put my foot down more and I think I deserve nothing less than that. No more screaming, no more yelling, no more weird drunken energy from my father. I refuse to let that phase me anymore and my mother's been noticing it, too. For now, I keep my distance, save money, and hopefully eventually buy a house (maybe, don't really see that happening in the US anyways).

I've been noticing that when I close my eyes to go to bed or sometimes when I'm drifting off, I hear random stuff in my head or see eyes looking at me through my eyelids. Random, I know, only reason why I'm writing it down is because it just happened. Is there a phenomena to this? It's just another topic for me to research on my off time, along with my other things: