This is going to be a 'long' post, at least in my standards, more spilling of the feelings here.

I won't go into too much details, but, essentially, I am a middle aged woman stuck trying to break a masochistic, traditionalist cycle as purported by my mother and father.

Things are getting really exhausting and I'm literally getting close to my wit's end.

If I am meant to be the perfect daughter, if I am meant to be the head of the household, why am I stuck babysitting adults like they're children? Why do I have to explain why some statements may hurt others? Why do I have to beg people to give other people chances? Why do I have to mediate discussions and be the voice of reason during difficult discussions? Why do people not listen to me when it comes to me explaining the dangers, and the solutions to these dangers, after they've gotten themselves into some shit? Why do I have to be the head of the family? I thought that the head of the family was the Father, not the daughter begging for some relief. The daughter begging for any responsibilities not to fall on her, but others where it should fall under? Why do I have to help my mom and dad with their passwords? Why do I have to clean the fridge? Why do I have to help you wash clothes? Why do I have to help you move heavy things when your pride and joy is much larger than me? Why do I have to drop everything I'm doing to type up a grocery list for you, on the phone? Why do I have to pause what I'm doing to talk to you about something that is mentally and emotionally draining? Why do I have to pay all of the utilities and half of the rent? Why is my space so small? Why do people yell at me when they don't get their way? Why do I have to let you in? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me? Why do I have to listen to you if you don't listen to me?

I am so fucking TIRED.